Day 54 - Disaster and Compassion

Yep, there are some food disasters I threw out today but they seem infinitely minor in the face of a huge disaster that was resolved due to God's compassion.

The past week or so was a humbling experience watching an approaching disaster (not for me, but for someone I care for and so it would ultimately affect me greatly). I had no control over the situation and I SO like having control.  Something inside me wanted to demand that someone do something.  I wanted to fix things but I couldn't.  A wonderful group of prayer supporters were faithfully seeking God's timing, God's helps and God's compassion and that helped me to wait and seek instruction.  Waiting has got to be one of the hardest things for me to do.  I see the situation and I know in my mind God will take care of it, but I don't know how.   I want to know how, but mostly I just want to know it is over.  In the meantime, I have to seek the depths of my being to search out if I am listening for God's direction or if I am following my own.  In old testament times, when a disaster loomed God's people often tore their clothes in anguish and put on sackcloth and ashes.

El Hanun (L - Hah-noon) the God of Compassion in Joel 2:13 says "Tear your heart, not your garments; and turn to Adonai your God.  For he is merciful and compassionate [El Hanun], slow to anger, rich in grace, and willing to change his mind about disaster." (Complete Jewish Bible).  The definition of the word compassionate in this verse actually indicates filled with compassion - and merciful. 

Tear your heart.  That presents a picture of absolute pain does it not?  Some of the descriptive words for tear or rend are to cleave,  rip open, break into pieces.  That's how my heart felt when my dad died, and my grandson.   Because I've experienced grief, I find myself more tenderhearted toward others experiencing grief or disaster.  I understand circumstances 'breaking' the heart.  But tearing my heart purposely?  And the word cleave. .. isn't the common meaning to stick close?  How, I wondered, could that same word mean ripping open or breaking into pieces.  Cleave, in this instance, means to split, as along a natural weakness. Memories of massive trees split from top to bottom when struck along a natural weakness by man or natural phenomenon such as lightening came to mind.  I also recalled going to the doctor for chest pain after my Dad died, and the doctor telling me it was grief - a 'broken heart'  he said.  We experience that in rage, in despair, and in compassion on behalf of others.   These are all natural responses, yet without purpose unless I add the next phrase - and turn to God.  We've all seen people stirred to compassion when helping others face disasters, but it is hard to fathom the depths of God's compassion.  He is filled with compassion and therefore He is merciful.  Always. Completely. So why do I take so long to run to Him and to trust Him with my disasters?  I used to think that like the food, I can toss it out, or cover it up, or start over and try again and fix things with no one ever knowing, but now I know better.  Been there, tried that. Doesn't work.

As part of mankind, I am predictably unpredictable.   Hope comes from  allowing the one who is filled with compassion to control the situation.  El Hanun.  I am so grateful He is my God.

Breakfast - clear liquids

Lunch:  Cream of mushroom and spinach soup - ummmm
Saute mushrooms in rice wine, add beef broth and herbs de province - simmer; add spinach at last minute.  Easy and delightful

Dinner on the road:  Cod filet - from the Farm - a fast-serve food restaurant in Racine, I hadn't tried before - it was wonderful - not at all greasy, flaky, very lightly coated, and delicious.  The picture is from the side showing the juicy flakes...it was a huge filet - as wide as the container.  I will definitely visit The Farm again :)