Day 3 - Why did I fail when dieting in the past?

Previous to taking the course with Setting Captives Free, I did not want to recognize that I was in a spiritual battle and that I had an emotional addiction to food.  I was using food (and shopping) as a place of comfort - subconsciously assigning abilities to food that it could never fulfill.  I was  on an impossible mission.  The lies I believed were that food could satisfy my innermost needs, and  that such weaknesses of the body are not connected to disobedience of my spirit.  II Corinthians 3:16-18 says "whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.  Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.  But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image."  This is probably the most major difficulty for me - to remove that veil I love to hide behind.  The enemy whispers that I don't have a problem - I can conquer it anytime...that there are many others with much bigger bodies than I who really have a problem with lack of control...that I can conquer the problem anytime I want.  What a joke.  Years of 'trying' to conquer the unhealthy habits and food addictions with various diets, supplements, binges and fastings did not fix any part of the problem.  I finally found true and lasting victory through doing The Lord's Table - by revealing my true self to the Lord - removing that veil, and allowing HIM to do the conquering.  I am ashamed that food - things that are temporary and rot  (chocolate, sugar, potato chips for me) were placed on the throne of my life instead of the Lord.  But I am thankful that God has revealed these things to me and that He continues to forgive me and even smile at my DUH! moments of revelation.

Reading God's word was like turning on a light that revealed a lot of dirt I didn't realize, or didn't want to admit, was there.  Hope was also revealed through these verses because I see that Christ wants to be revealed in me.  I've often worn a veil or mask for 'protection', not allowing others to see the real me. Now I know that each time I choose Christ for my comfort and satisfaction instead of placing that power with food, that I can foil Satan who is trying to convince me that the veil hides the ugliness of sin.  What the veil was really hiding was the glory of the Lord in a forgiven soul.  Let your light continue to shine Lord, as I use food for its intended purpose only - to provide nutrition and health to my physical body.   Let your light shine as I remove the veil and commit my life to you.

Sunday is a more relaxed day, but there is always time to do a little Oxycise.  This time I did it on the way to Burlington to help a dear friend who had a heart attack.  Exercise, seated?  Can that really help?  Yes.  Oxycise is a form of deep breathing that you can do seated or standing and if desired, in various isometric poses so you give your muscles a workout while taking in oxygen and exhaling the carbon dioxide.  I will post a link to a diagram of the breathing guidelines (3 deep inhales while tucking rear under and sucking stomach in, then exale and puff out 3 more times to release all the carbon dioxide), or you can check out www.oxycise.com.

My devotional note today is that I sense a hope in the small victories through focusing on the Lord first, food second:
Small victories
drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning and before each meal helps increase hydration
planning for success instead of failure - I gave away or froze foods that raise my sugar levels so I can have a reasonable treat later if I want it
yummy meals - planning and preparing appealing and attractive foods

I sense that I can be truly changed by giving God the reins of every area of my life. God's Word shows my unbelief and self-centered struggles have already been forgiven (I John 1:9).  I feel like I was feeding a fake image of myself - one that kept searching for the ultimate Creme Brule or ultimate chocolate - the ultimate satisfaction which food can never provide.  Now I understand that when God looks at me he sees a perfect temple and that is what I want to feed. I want to honor this temple He has given me by providing it nutrition and acknowledging that God has already provided that perfect satisfaction and peace I sought for so many years.

Breakfast: Kefir Strawberry Smoothie (picture after I drank half of it!) and Gingerbread cookie

Lunch: 100 calorie thin roll from Sam's Club,  filling of Sandwich steaks, McCormick Grill Mates seasoning, onions, peppers and mexican cheese.  Sweet potato chips

Dinner: Fresh tossed salad with tomato, green pepper, onion, cucumber and salmon burger. Dressing was walnut oil and a little salt.



Exercise - Strength - free weights upper body

Water 7 glasses
Weightloss: 1#