This cold or virus or whatever has me feeling melancholy. Maybe it is because I'm unable to eat. I'm sure less food will do me good. Today consisted of water, tea, vitamin C and a few portions of Cara Cara - a new fruit. Cara Cara is actually three fruits grafted together - oranges, tangerines and grapefruit. It looks like a large naval orange on the outside, but is light pink inside. The C is helping, and symptoms are abating somewhat.
Melancholy remains partially due to some conversations today that made me question how responsible I am for others decisions... If I should have been able to see a person's need sooner, or could have helped some make better decisions. How much I am responsible for those in my life circle. Can you tell I am not used to sitting still and thinking so much? When I was in such a mood another time, a dear friend responded with "Oh? I didn't know you had such power? To control life and death and the will of others." That was the best thing that could have been said to me, because constantly looking over one's shoulder wondering if I could have done better would be just as detrimental as the King's boasting. Both limit and demean the power of God. Although God has allowed me to share whatever gifts he has given me, and whatever wisdom He has imparted with me, it is HE alone who controls life and death, and HE alone whose spirit can woo others from their choices. If my heart is broken for others, how much more is the creator's pain.
What has kept me and my emotions from sinking lower today ... well let me change that to WHO has kept me...is
El Elyon - God Most High. Elyon meaning Highest or Exalted One. His sovereignty is over all. His mercy is over all. His love is over all. His power is over all. Daniel 4:34 tells of Nebuchadnezzar after his release from his private torment: "I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. "
Here was a King who had thought he was ruling his kingdom and all in it to the point of belief that he was the highest power. God used desperate measures to redeem him, and only when he recognized that God alone is sovereign did Nebuchadnezzar have his reason return to him.
If ever I am tempted to take credit for what God has done (and what God alone can do) this passage - and my friend's remark keep me humbly returning to El Elyon. It certainly encourages me to be more in God's Word and listening to what HE says and to realize all that has happened has been under His control and observation.
There was a comedian years ago named Skip Wilson who made popular the little phrase "the devil made me do it." It was funny for awhile, but then many preachers picked up the line that you give the devil too much credit... for we all have the nature to sin and follow our own desires. And so it may seem odd to some, but the thought of God's sovereignty - over all - comforts me. As I seek to follow His will, I know I do not, have not, will not, always make the mark, for I am finite. Yet as I submit my desires, and my concerns to El Elyon I can rest in knowing that my decisions and actions can be overruled if they are not in line with His will for the person involved. I can do no more than leave it all with Him. And that is not a last resort, but a first resort. We get to start at the Highest Court.
Gloria Gaither has said that "The names of God in Scripture are not just ornamental, accidental or even historical; they are given to us to confirm attributes of God that address our 'very time of need."
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